Appa, my teacher, guide and friend -- V women's day special

Appa really respected amma. I am tending to believe respect is a very sure foundation of a successful and stable marriage. And he continued in the same manner for 62 years of their marriage. He would consult her on every aspect of home management. When I was in school and college, we did not have a phone at home. So any communication has to be by post or meeting them in person. Every letter that used to come home, appa will share with amma and in the same way, when he is making out any letter, be it personal or professional, he will show it to amma and only after she approves, will he send it. I used to find it very charming then and I am finding it extremely charming now, when I think back. Any plan for an outing will be a joint decision.

We are two sisters and a brother. We never felt any discrimination being girls. Being a girl was never an issue. Except when we had gone out, we have to be back home by 6 pm. We never found it unreasonable for the simple reason, we lived in a campus and it was shrub land. It would get extremely dark and there were few street lights. My brother would come and ride his cycle with us if we got late on a rare occasion, from the rail station.

He never did any cooking or cutting vegetables or any other kitchen work. We had our aunt with us and she used to be helping amma out in the kitchen. But appa would pitch in hundred percent for all other jobs in the house. We had an estate, so there would be any number of jobs to do like to pick up the tamarind pods and then dehusk them and put them out to dry and then deseed them. Appa will see to it that all of us are gathered in a verandah and do a joint cooperative effort(he included) and enjoy lot of chatter and bonhomie along with that. We never felt any drudgery. We were not very keen to help out amma in the kitchen and he used to cajole us to go and help her.See, she is finding it difficult please go and help her would be his refrain many a time. He would also use the occasion to tell us, how he lost his mother when he was three, and we do not know to appreciate a loving mother.

We persued whatever branch of higher studies we wanted to pursue.He would always be there to give full support including applying for the forms, getting the postal orders and finally sending them by registered post.

Amma wanted to pursue higher studies when I was in college. Appa encouraged her and did the necessary research to find out the university offering pre university course through distance education. Amma would do the studying, and appa was her secretariat. He would collect her answer papers, parcel them and send them through post.Any correspondence from the university he will read it out to her and both of them will decide on the correct response and appa would draft the letter again for her approval. He would collect any extra reading that she might require from the college library.
She persued her undergraduation and post graduation and then a b ed degree is too well chronicled in family history to need repetion. She completed her b ed course and next year appa retired.Amma wanted to work in a school, so she did work for 5 years in a school in anna nagar and later adyar. Appa used to fondly pack her bag with a flask of tea and biscuits!He was so happy to be housebound and see amma off to work!

On this womens day week, I still remember the comfortable way he would potter around the house when amma was away at work, and wipe the vessels the maid has cleaned and arrange them neatly in the kitchen. This is a very relaxing job he told me once