Appa my teacher, guide and friend - II

I studied in the same college, that appa was teaching.We also lived inside the college campus. It was a coeducational college.We had studied in girls  school and also pre university in a girls only college. While many a parent had hesitation in admitting their daughters to this college, he would tell them not to worry, trust your girl and things will be fine. He told me when I joined the college, I am a teacher here and we also reside inside the campus. People will notice you and tell me things. I would like that you do what you think is right and tell me what is happening in your life. So I would know anything before somebody gets a bright idea to come and tell me their own version of a tale. I found it was fair. He was anyway my best friend, with whom I used to share my everyday life. So it was no big deal.I have ridden pillion in his cycle many a time to college. Now I think about it, it is amazing that I never wanted to strike out alone and develop a distance from my parents during college days. I think adolescence simply skipped me in my adolescent years!

After my degree he sat down and asked me.What do you want to do now. You can pursue higher studies, you can apply for jobs or you can get married. The last two options were so scary that I decided to do my post graduation, of course in the same college.

When there was a choice to take up insurance company job in Mumbai when I was already an officer in a nationalised bank in the city, he went totally by my wishes. The lure of being in a hostel for six months of training was appealing. He did not put down this wish saying we need to get you married, there is nothing to choose between bank and insurance, you continue here. Any other father of those days would have definitely said that. And the girl would have thought nothing of that wish and followed it through. But he was different. He found my wish very reasonable and said go ahead. Every relative of ours was telling amma(behind his back of course) that they are being stupid.Amma also found my wish quite reasonable and went along with appa. In fact amma was as excited as me to go to Bombay.

When it was time for getting married, again appa showed that he was different, and pro his kids. I said I was not for traditional "girl seeing" ritual. I am not a showpiece I told him. It is very humiliating. He asked me do you have anybody in mind. I said no.Then he said tell me how do we go about finding a boy.I said we can meet in a neutral place, like a temple.(it was not common to meet in CCD as there was not only no CCD, but very few restaurants and fewer where there will be an ambience for calmly sitting down for a chat.They will be crowded and clatter of stainless steel dubara and tumblers and shouting of the tiffin order across the hall). He agreed.  Again somewhere down the lane,he asked me I am also not for any alliance where they make any demands. But just in case, if everything else is perfect, can we bend a little . I said no. He again accepted and went ahead with his search.

Clear, articulate and asks the correct questions and has the correct conversation to the point at the right time.That is appa.And carries it through to the letter and spirit.

......innum varum