Senior citizens

Traditionally Indian society has treated all members of the family as one entity.Whether one was treated well or not, there was definitely belonging.So much so, there was no 'felt need' to go in for life insurance in such a society. None of the constitutents felt bereft of protection and livelihood, should one earning member of the family suddenly died; or even if he/she lived too long!
I do not remember that my grand father who lived a full life upto 80 years ever mentioned of life insurance. I do remember my father having some life insurance policies. But they were really not very substantial and were used as savings instruments than risk averting instruments!
Father dying suddenly, invariably meant the extended family, naturally coming to the resue of the grieving family, immediately and also on a sustained basis. It was an accepted norm, rather than an exception.
We can say that we have always had an inclusive culture.I particularly value dignity of human beings more so in old age.Hence it was quite painful for me when my doctor discussed very serious 'parent abuse' visible among his patients.More so when they fall sick.
Much before our organisation introduced pension scheme, i was witness to several of my colleagues, after retirement leading a not enviable life. I could not imagine , how a person who has earned for over 30 years and lived life to the full, caring and nurturing his family during these years, be not made to feel good and at ease with himself.
Many a time i have joked with some of my male colleagues, that my sympathies are with their wives, who are suddenly stuck with their husbands for 24/7!(this expression was not in vogue then).Many of them would have fashioned their lives around seeing the back of their husbands at a fixed time in the mornings and having time for themselves till late evening, when they get ready to receive them back!
They would need space for themselves, to use the more fashionable expression.They might be busy, they might rest a while, they might share a tete e tete with the servant/neighbour or regular vendor who sells anything from vegetables to greens to plastic buckets.They might watch serials or do some cleaning of the house; or read up on magazines/books.They might do some chota mota purchases in the locality; they might visit a friend or relative or receive some stray guest at home.
For 30 odd years, husband has not been a part of any of these activities and hence when they decide to pitch tent it needs some heavy duty adjustments from her side!
I remember my great aunt was beside herself when her husband decided to take retirement when he was 60.His company did not believe in watching the clock and giving them retirement party when they turn 60. He could have definitely continued for some more years if he had wanted(she definitely wanted it!).But then his logic was that he has been working since he was 18 and was looking forward to his easy chair life!My aunt used to freely express her anguish to anyone and everyone who would be within earshot;the world is unjust and how when the company wants them, how some people are so merciless as to throw that opportunity away!Everybody could easily discern(inlcluding the just retired!) that she was talking about her loss of freedom than genuine concern for the company her husband worked for.
I remember my granny's reaction when grandpa retired.She just could not accept it.When they shifted from Mumbai to chennai after his retirement, she was naïve enough to tell the neighbours that her husband was on leave. How did she believe that she could carry off this facade?The fact is she did.And when after sometime, some neighbours asked her why he has not gone back to work, she had to tell them that he is on looong leave. By which time i am sure the neighbours were wiser than to ask what was so apparent to everybody except her!And to put at rest every other speculation,grandpa went and got his head shaved and kept a neat little tuft!He also threw away all his trousers and switched over to traditional 'panchakacham' dhoti.My grandma was inconsolable and she used to harrangue him with doing the unthinkable without as much as consulting her. And to top it all he used to spend his evening hours in a neighbourhood temple which was just getting established. She used to ask him, what is it that he find there when he is not at all old to pursue full time religious pursuits!
With my father, the transition was easier, as he was a professor in a college; not only that, we stayed in the campus and dad used to be seen around the house a lot more than most fathers who are working in offices.Other than the classes he had to take he used to be at home, so when he retired, it was not much of a difference.It is also pertinenet, that summer vacations used to have him stay at home for over 3 months, so we were all quite comfortable that he was an integral part of the house!
I remember a colleague whom i met some 3 months after he had retired.He was enjoying life he said;There are so many serials to be watched, that he and his wife have found a new bonding in watching them!I asked him how he is able to tolerate the weepy serials which are typically a woman's diet and he said that he is also a housewife(!) so he is able to relish them!
There are a whole lot of my colleagues and friends who have taken voluntary retirement.Some fancy packages were offered by govt, banks, insurance companies and also some private sector employers.their stories are slightly different.In most of the cases, women who have taken the plunge, seems to enjoy a life of non-stress.They have looked forward to being able to have a leisurely pace of life and it was a wish fulfilment so to say.They said they are able to lead fuller lives with pursuing their long forgotten hobbies.They slide into typical housewife role; 20 odd years of working life in one swift move is as though erased from their lives and memory!
Not so the case of men. Many of them have taken up alternate careers. Bank officers have takent up project appraisals and the like. Insurance officials have taken to agents training;some of them to take guest lectures in numerous management institutes.Of course with booming economy, non formal sector offers many an opportunity to the enterprising individual.I am quite sure their wives are pleased that the husband does not put so much tension on them in the mornings, but is happily away for a good part of the day .So they are having the cake and eating it too!
Of course there is an alternate career of making regular visits to your children's homes in the US.Plans are made for the entire year ahead. Nobody can say that our kids in the US do not plan ahead. They neatly arrange a full calender year between their parents and in laws with children's vacation duly factored in.So couple of months is spent in being of assistance to your son/daughter to pursue their dreams. Usually the women adapt to the life in the US much better than the men. Loss of independence and being not able to drive your life is more traumatic for men than women.Many of them end up learning to use the computers more extensively than they would have done back home in India.Some of them swing to the other extreme and get extremely addicted to it and their excitement at the cyber world opening up is real and palpable.But they would definitely not wish to go there again, if they have a choice. I have seen many fathers opting to stay back when the mother makes more frequent visits to help out their kids.
They are able to accept the home catering arrangements that are becoming common in our localities.I have not had anyone who takes to active interest in social causes.
I remember reading about the significant waste of productive energy of women who spend enormous amounts of time in fetching water for their households. If only this single problem could be solved with providing piped water, the gdp of the country could go up many fold!
So also, if we can tap into the creative wisdom and capabilities of our senior citizens in our families, our gdp of happiness will grow up several fold!!