South Indian weddings-

There was a wedding in a friend's family and I had spent two enjoyable days last weekend. Two full days of attending a wedding, is something I have not done for many many years. More so, remaining up and about and raring to share with aam jan.

No, I did not feel obliged to attend the same. It was purely voluntary. I was not obliged to stay almost all the 48 hours.It happened naturally. It was like magic, that all the stuff I have grown to dislike in weddings, had vamoosed without a trace and all that I like and look forward to, were there in plenty. How did that happen?

Well for one, today South Indian weddings have metamorphasised, incorporating the 'fun' stuff from other styles and also reinventing and enjoying the traditional aspects.It is also that the families and the bride and groom are well educated on what they are going through and bring a certain amount of seriousness and purposefulness about the religious part. Nobody was distracted or worse still secretly hurrying the priest to get it over and done with. No,let me not jump the gun.

Day 1 started fairly early with both the bride and the groom, sitting pretty on the dias, but huddled together in separate area with their respective parents. The parents were dressed in traditional attire; it brings a certain seriousness and auspiciousness to the occasion, I dare say.We talk of dress code in corporate world, so there are dress codes for social occasions too!

The bridegroom was doing 'vratham' and the girl was being initiated into 'jatakathi, namakathi' ceremonies. The mood was subdued and lowkey, as the families were coming together for the first time, and the first salvo has been fired for the wedding ceremonies.

Family members and close friends were present, so it was a time for introductions and touching base with people whom you had known long long ago. No nadaswaram this time, so no background noise to overcome.

Post lunch had a very enjoyable time as we were witness to a variety entertainment programme by the children.It was not a amateur affair, but well thought out and planned.The kids were huddled in practise sessions since morning.It helped to bring the two families together under congenial environment. Mothers and fathers presented a different aspect of their personality by going on stage and singing old melodies, really old ones, like 'maapillai doi', and enjoying every moment of it.

Evening was the 'mapillai azhaippu' and the temple was just behind the wedding hall, in the same complex. While the groom's party was stepping into the hall, all of a sudden, the nadaswaram came up belting popular wedding songs.Otherwise sober uncles and aunts suddenly got into the fray and were shaking a leg! I was never more astonished. This was the first time that I have seen elders enjoying a wedding in this way.Then the nieces and nephews also got into the mood and nadaswaram was playing a 'rap' song. I was busy trying to capture all the action on my video.

The 'nichyathartham' itself was quite a grand affair, with the dias filled with all the 'perusu' from both parties.It was like a 'sadas' , all serious to witness the engagement ceremony. The usual exchange of thamboolam and reading the 'pathirikai' was gone through.

The next day started fairly early as the muhurtham was between 7.30 to 9 am. So the run up to the muhurtham has to start by 6 am. There was the oonjal and the songs routine.(Actually I got in late, so missed the fun part!)

The hall was filling up fast, as it was a Sunday and invitees wanted to be there for the muhurtham.The bride, otherwise a fussy girl, was going through the routine of changing sarees every half an hour without batting an eyelid and changing hairdo and accessories to go with it!Quite a feat! But then you have a resident beautician with you and you have to just leave the entire operation to her!Now, the thavil and nadaswaram got into high crescendo and one had to raise ones voice to be heard. The gear was shifting and that was the signal that I need to perch myself on a chair to capture the 'finale'.The couple were by now in a 'padma vyuha' circled by the parents, sisters in law as the chief operations persons, and all relatives and friends wanting a piece of the action. None can enter now , the place was sealed.

Mangalya dharanam was completed and there was a visible sigh of relief all around and the crowd dispersed from the dias and the couple were left to do the sapthapadi with ease and peace and quiet.

Now the parents were freed and they went around the marriage hall, greeting the guests and big smiles plastered on their faces.They have been promoted as mother in laws and father in laws!

Post lunch after a little lull, was the 'nalangu' scheduled. Papads were arranged and also the haldi kumkum. It was lot of fun with good singing from anybody and everybody who was in the mood.

Breaking of papads on the heads of the couple is the climax!It is usual nowadays to rubbish this as being too childish. But then some loosening has to take place for two families to feel comfortable with each other. And nalangu performs that function. Defreezing we used to call in our corporate training sessions, remember?

The reception was a simple affair, with the only object of meeting the guests and taking 'attendance' with them (video and photograph sessions with every group).It is somewhat boring, but not for the invitees. Thankfully it was a short affair, as most of the guests had come in the morning, and only 'office crowd' had come in the evening reception.

The videographer/photographer were getting into the 'portrait' mode and were asking for 'special poses'. I liked the one when the parents sat on the decorated sofas and the couple sat perched on the armrests!

The dinner was a buffet with assorted tents serving variety of dishes. This has become the norm these days.

The two days were coming to a close and what remained in my memory, is the happy faces, the family and friends pitching in with all the work and running around without any hitch, the wedding having the correct share of religious rituals taken seriously and also having room for enjoyment.

Yes, south Indian weddings like English language has become richer for amalgamating the 'mehendi', baraat and dancing, reinventing nalangu and adding a dose of variety entertainment, while retaining the serious tenor and purpose of the wedding event.